A 12-year-old reviewed an orchestral concert, and it’s brilliantly accurate

22 October 2019, 13:36 | Updated: 23 October 2019, 11:35

This young boy’s review of the Auckland Philharmonia Orchestra’s latest gig is completely unpretentious and beautifully accurate.

A 12-year-old boy has thrown into question pretty much every classical concert standard, in one adorably frank review.

Like, why does everyone clap for so long? Why does the conductor jump around so much? And how come snack-rustling is such a no-no? (Answer: probably so you don’t get people doing this...)

Madeleine Chapman, a staff writer at The Spinoff, had the brilliant idea of taking her nephew Harper to see the Auckland Philharmonia Orchestra for the first time, and getting him to review the concert.

On Thursday, Harper flew from Wellington to Auckland to see the orchestra perform Ravel’s Boléro as part of their New Zealand Herald Premier Series.

Read more: These are the 29 stages of listening to Ravel’s Boléro >

“When I was very small, I used to sit in the hallway at home with my closest siblings and we would ask our brother Bernard, a teenager at the time, to play songs on the piano,” Madeleine writes. “We would name a song we liked from the radio, try to sing the melody, then Bernard would play something resembling it on the piano. He had taught himself how to play.

“Nearly two decades later, I often find myself sitting on the floor next to a piano, asking Bernard’s son Harper to play a song. He’s 12 years old and taught himself how to play by watching YouTube tutorials. It’s strange and exciting to see a tween showing such a genuine interest in classical music, while also taking advantage of technology to help him learn (he now gets lessons from a real-life human too).”

Read Harper’s wonderfully honest review below.

“I had never actually been to see a proper orchestra so it was quite the experience. The Auckland Town Hall was very grand. When we arrived, it was very crowded. All the people seemed very high class. A lot were past middle aged. My aunty pointed out a famous author but I hadn’t heard of him.

“We took in snacks and drinks from the dairy across the road but when we sat down I didn’t see anyone else with any drinks. We had to be really quiet with them.

“I thoroughly enjoyed how the orchestra hooked us in with their sweet harmonic sound. On the left they had high instruments playing in high octaves and on the right there were big, low instruments like drums and cellos. The piano and the conductor were in the middle. The conductor was very excited and jumping around a lot. It was a bit funny, he would make gestures at certain players to make them sound better.

“My favourite part was Ravel’s Piano Concerto in G major, II; Adagio assai. It was very touching, the pianist actually had a tear when he finished playing it. And another one I liked was Boléro. It was like a small flower blossoming, repeating over and over and getting louder and louder.

“I really liked the cellists and the pianist. I liked how the cellists plucked at the strings, the violinists did that too. And I liked how the pianist connected with the music. He smiled in the upbeat parts and looked sad during the low parts.

“The music was all great but there was just so much clapping that it kept disrupting my thoughts on the pieces. It felt like the audience clapped for like five minutes after one piece. I stopped and restarted clapping three times just because everyone was clapping for so long.

“I liked that there were intervals but the songs went by really fast, like when you have fun and time goes by quickly. The show was two hours but it felt like less than one hour. People left quickly afterwards. If they had kept playing I would have stayed.

“Overall, I was touched by the music. Sometimes I listen to music on my phone or the TV and then when I put my headphones on it sounds way nicer. Hearing it played live was a whole other level. I would definitely go again but I think they should put cushions on the seats.”

Harper, we wholeheartedly agree and hope you continue to enjoy many more classical concerts. Just don’t forget that travel cushion next time...

Read Harper’s review in full on The Spinoff.