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23 annoying questions literally every musician has to deal with

22 May 2020, 11:48 | Updated: 27 May 2020, 17:56

23 things every classical musician wants you to stop asking them immediately. Picture: Netflix/Twitter

By Maddy Shaw Roberts

You’re a classical musician, and the world won’t stop asking you these things. We understand and sympathise.

Hey, why is your music full of hashtags?

Hashtags or sharps. Picture: Social media

Psst. Not a hashtag.
I thought classical music was just for old people?

Little Conductor (Karen Hakobyan's Son) no relation to Maestro Mehta, please stop spreading false news!
My son is 1,5 years old in these videos and had Khatchaturian Sabre Dance and Borodin Polovtsian Dances in his repertoire already) Karen Hakobyan, pianist/composer/conductor Pegasus: The Orchestra
Posted by Karen Hakobyan on Sunday, 6 October 2019

... ahem.
Lockdown must be so good for you, get so much practice done.

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If by “good” you mean “financially draining”, then yes.
What have you got in there, a machine gun?!

Violin case. Picture: Getty

“Bet you wish you played the flute!!”
*stony violin face*
Have you ever thought about getting a real job?

Aunt: You still trying to be a "musician" or did you get a real job?

Me: You still trying to be in a "marriage" or did you get a divorce?#ThanksgivingClapBack pic.twitter.com/aak3Trved3
— Nate Blasdell (@nateismfof) November 20, 2017

BAM.
To a cellist: hey, I didn’t know you played guitar?

Anyways, here’s Wonderwall. Picture: Social media

*sigh*
So what do you actually do all those hours you spend practising, just play the song?

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I mean, you’re not far off.
Hey can you play that song from Twilight – what’s it called, Clair de lune?

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I’m sure Debussy would be delighted to hear about his genre-bending legacy.
Why do you make all those weird faces when you perform?

Didn't realise bows could do that...
Didn't realise bows could do that... (via Salvatore Lombardo - crazy violinist)
Posted by Classic FM on Monday, 4 July 2016

It’s a fair question.
Yeah, I don’t really listen to old music

Dwayne Baroque. Picture: Classic FM

Age is but a number, friend.
Your fingers are quite callousy. Have you ever thought about getting a manicure?

Finger calluses. Picture: Social media

Does it look like that would work out for me?
Ah, you’re studying music. So you’re going to be a music teacher?

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If it gets you off my back grandma, then yes, I am.
Oh you’re a singer? Have you thought about going on the X Factor?

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Ha ha ha ha. I’m blocking your number.
Oh I can play piano too! *plays Chopsticks*

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Sure, it’s the same.
You get paid £200 for an hour’s playing??? That’s so much!! You much be rich!!!

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Sure, let me just mop my tears with all the spare money I have.
What do the black keys do?

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My piano is not a toy.
Oh you’re a professional musician? We’d love you to play at our event. There won’t be a fee, but it will be good exposure for you.

Exposures. Picture: Social media

So grateful, thk u xo
Can I hold your instrument?

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And please stop touching my bow hair.
I’ve actually been writing some of my own music. Can I play it to you?

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“A lot of my new stuff is pretty dark”
Oh you’re a musician. Play us something!

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Leave me alone pls.
Ooh you play saxophone? Do you know Baker Street?

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Nope. Never heard of it. Great suggestion.
Oh you play piano? Do you know any Elton John?

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Sure, if it makes you happy.
I really love classical music. And opera, I’m so into opera. Operas like Phantom and Les Mis

Operas. Picture: Social media

Guess it’s back to Dating Square One, then.