23 petrifying phrases to tell a classical musician this Halloween

30 October 2019, 14:23 | Updated: 30 October 2019, 16:40

Scary things to tell a musician
Scary things to tell a musician. Picture: Crazy Violinist/Giphy/Classical-Crap/Tumblr

By Maddy Shaw Roberts

Want to freak out a classical musician this Halloween? Here are some spooky phrases you can use...

Trick-or-treat your musician friends this Halloween, with these 100% evil made-up phrases.

  1. They said the overhead lockers were too full, so we’ve just put your cello in the hold. Hope that’s OK. x

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  2. The practice rooms are all taken

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  3. You can transpose by sight, can’t you?

  4. Hey man, I’ll drop your violin bow back to you in a bit. You’re meant to wash them with soap, right?

    Soapy violin
    Soapy violin. Picture: reddit
  5. Hope you’re ready for your solo tonight!

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  6. You can read alto clef, right?

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    (via @claywhittington)

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  7. Hey, I heard your old music teacher is coming tonight

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  8. Just randomly shout ‘intonation’ at them

  9. The page turner just dropped out. You can turn your own music though, right?

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    (📷 Manuel Tomadin)

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  10. The music’s in 12/8, key is D flat minor and the concert’s in an hour

    D flat minor pumpkin
    D flat minor pumpkin. Picture: Classic FM/Getty
  11. Watch out for that modulation over the page

  12. Heard your ex is coming to your recital tonight. Cool that you guys are still friends.

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  13. You can conduct and play the bassoon, right?

  14. You’ve gone viral!

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  15. Randomly shout “vibrato"

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  16. Remember that time you said you could sing in five languages? I need a favour…

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  17. Hey man, saw the review last night. Don’t listen to them, I think you sounded great.

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  18. Offer a singer a cough lolly randomly

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  19. Damn, our soprano’s just pulled out for Boris Godunov tonight. You’re fluent in Russian, right?

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  20. The sound engineers say they’ve had some trouble tonight – but I told them you could just sing a bit louder.

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  21. Good luck at the concert tonight!

    Fun way
    Picture: classical-crap/Tumblr
  22. Hey, thanks for letting me borrow your violin. That post bit inside is supposed to rattle around, right?

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  23. Just seen the video online. Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us. Your career will recover.

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