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19 December 2019, 17:06 | Updated: 20 December 2019, 10:34
Christmas may be fast approaching, but the nights are dark and the weather chilly. Here are the funniest lines from one of our favourite corners of the Internet to add some sparkle to your day...
My primary teacher sister once had a child in her class who included a spherical figure in drawing of the nativity. On asking who that was, the child replied "round John Virgin"— Lynda Taylor (@NorthumberArt) December 11, 2019
Did you know that Santa has a tenth reindeer, Olive?— Dad's Puns (@DadsPuns) December 14, 2019
She's mentioned in Rudolph's song
"Olive the other reindeer..."
Everybody sit down, because what I am about to tell you will change everything. It is FOUR COLLY BIRDS.— Kyran Pittman (@kyranpittman) December 20, 2012
Why did shepherds only wash their socks at nighttime— Brian O'Keefe (@rider45) December 11, 2019
My great aunt was a Sunday School teacher and was once presented with a drawing of Jesus, Mary, Joseph... and an enormous insect. The source? Misunderstanding the angel who instructed Joseph to "take the child and flea into Egypt"...— God Rest Ye Roguishly, Trader (@RogueTrader84) December 11, 2019
I just posted this yesterday:— Jeannie Prinsen (@JeanniePrinsen) December 11, 2019
I laugh every time I remember that my son calls "O Come All Ye Faithful" CIDER HAM. Why?
Because of the last 3 syllables of the chorus:
O come let uS ADORE HIM
S-A-D-O-R-E-H-I-M = CIDER HAM 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
mmmmmmm cider ham pic.twitter.com/ZgTncCK8Ns
My darling daughter came home from nursery saying she was going to Beverley Anne’s. I said I needed to speak to her mummy to arrange things like that. No mummy we are all going from Nursery. After talking to Nursery teacher the group were going to Bethlehem in the Nativity 🥰🥰— lynne kirk (@rockchickangel) December 11, 2019