This piano for sale is apparently not haunted, but seems kinda sus.
31 August 2021, 11:51 | Updated: 31 August 2021, 12:09
One Craigslist seller’s claim that their piano isn’t haunted has made the advertisement go viral. We’re both dubious and deeply terrified.
Because this seller was fervently – and conspicuously – adamant that their instrument was definitely not haunted. Definitely not haunted.
In just the second sentence of the advertisement, which is titled ‘Piano (free, not haunted, pickup only)’ for starters, the seller is quick to stress the keyboard is “not possessed or haunted in any way”. Hm.
To make the whole thing even more suspicious, the seller ends the piano’s description with, well, what can only be read as a plea: “Please take this out of my home”.
The item description continues: “Tuned less than 24 months ago; played by human hands ~6 minutes since.”
Human hands. We can’t help but wonder why such clarification was needed.
Our anonymous Craigslist advertiser adds, “Not a player piano – does not play by itself.”
If the slightly eerie description of this instrument hasn’t deterred you yet, you’ll be pleased to know it does come with a bench, and has wheels.
Timothy shared his discovery to the Internet via Twitter, and naturally, it went viral.
“i’m sorry what” he captioned the series of screenshots, which show the seemingly average Lester Piano looking entirely playable.
An enquiry was made, and Timothy kept his intrigued social audience up to date with what happened next.
But hours later, Timothy tweeted “UPDATE” with a screenshot of the seller’s response, who further reassured the piano’s non-haunted state.
“I assure you it is not haunted (to the best of my knowledge). Let me know if you’re still interested,” they said.
The rest of the Internet are as unsure as we are.
That’s exactly what someone who’s trying to offload a cursed haunted piano would say.— matt (@billikenhawk) August 18, 2021
I fully expect it to start moaning "human hands" the first time you actually play it.— Katelyn (@TheWazISU) August 18, 2021
Quite a few of the story’s followers actually believe the piano’s quirkier description was just a marketing ploy, and nothing more.
Clever marketing. Claim it's haunted and people will wonder if you're making it up to make it seem special. Claim it's *not* haunted and you'll intrigue the reader.— Stupendous Gravity (@StupendousGrav1) August 17, 2021
Unfortunately, Timothy hasn’t shared an update about the spooky piano since.
Maybe the end of this curious tale will remain as mysterious as the advertised instrument itself...