18 things you’ll only understand if you played in your school orchestra
15 April 2019, 17:23 | Updated: 15 April 2019, 17:31
Did you play in your school orchestra? Take a minute to reminisce over your terrible past existence as a second violinist.
Remembering that this is the first time you’ve picked up your instrument all week
Coming in confidently two bars early and hiding in shame behind your tiny wire music stand
That definitely wasn’t me. Nope. Nooo sir.
Your tiny wire music stand breaking and falling over
These things were not made to stay upright.
The unique feeling of discomfort that comes from sitting on a hard plastic chair for two and a half hours
Why can’t we have cushions like real humans?
Sweltering in your school uniform
Having a good grip on my bow is a physical impossibility in this uncomfortably hot practice room full of 13 year olds.
Looking at the key signature on a new piece of music and feeling physical pain
Well this is going to sound lovely at our end-of-term concert.
Gazing longingly out of the window and being scandalised to see all the kids bunking off orchestra
Well, this is unacceptable.
Forgetting to count your 82-bar rest and getting shouted at
Can’t you just bring us in?
Forgetting to do the repeat and getting shouted at
Trying to circle the repeat, but then remembering you forgot to bring a pencil and getting shouted at
It’s just too many things to remember.
Your desk partner being off sick, leaving you feeling simultaneously lonely and very exposed
Can everyone stop looking at me please.
The sweet, screechy sound of everyone tuning up
Ah, there’s nothing like the sound of that glorious concert A, clashing with a G sharp in the brass section.
The matchless feeling of revulsion that comes from accidentally stepping in someone’s puddle of spit
Wind and brass players, please keep your saliva inside your mouths.
Being unable to see the conductor because an extremely tall viola player is sitting in front of you
Well, it’s no wonder I keep coming in a bar late.
Taking out fellow orchestra members with your bow
Literally who thought it was a good idea to put 60 kids in this minuscule practice room?
Accidentally knocking over your sheet music with your instrument
Pageturning Incident Tetzlaff Vogt with guest star Anna Reszniak
Aaaaaand it’s all over the floor, and I have no idea which order the sheets were in.
Playing the same medley EVERY Christmas – and practising it in October
WHEN WILL THE FESTIVE JOLLITY END.
Doing everything in your power to not burst into laughter as your friend across the room makes cross-eyes at you
Musician friends = friends for life.