The 11 worst things about playing the piano

14 August 2018, 17:17

worst things piano

These are absolutely the worst things about being a pianist, from expensive instruments to transport fails and pub pianos. If you're a pianist, you'll know.

1. Transport

Never try to move a piano without first insuring yourself against absolutely every eventuality. Otherwise, this will definitely happen:

 

2. Electric pianos

They're essential for practice, of course, but come on. This is ridiculous. 

electric piano

(Via The Distraction Network)

 

3. Pianos are a tad pricey

So you need something to practice on, and you're sick of the synthetic experience of an electric keyboard. Well, it's probably time to consider robbing a bank or winning the lottery.

(Via Seattlish)


4. When there's a piano in the pub

"Come on, you can play the piano! Give us a tune now! Make it a good one that everyone knows the words to and you can play flawlessly while drunk and under the scrutiny of an entire building of revellers!"

(Via rowsdowr.com)

 

5. Attempting to recreate the Lang Lang pose

Yeah. You're going to fall off the stool at the end of this concert. 

Lang Lang - Liszt My Piano Hero

But tbf, look at him go:

 

6. You are a solitary creature

Being a pianist means that, more often than not, you're on your own. No space for you in the orchestra unless it's a concerto. No place in the chamber ensemble unless there's budget to move a Steinway. No practice room hi-jinks unless you pay people to hang out with you.

via GIPHY

 

7. Hand cramps

You think your fingers are over-stretched? Robert Schumann, the composer made a contraption to actually yank his fingers beyond their natural reach. The result? He couldn't play the piano any more. Ouch.

Robert Schumann

 

8. Tuning

If a violin goes out of tune, you just wiggle the knobs. If you're singing slightly flat, you go up a bit. If your piano's out of tune you either have to hire someone to invade your home for several hours or deal with this kind of reaction:

(Via Giphy)

 

9. Playing from memory

Memory nightmares plague musicians of all kinds, of course. But the world's top pianists are expected to memorise all their music as standard. And sadly not everyone has the memory of Maria João Pires who casually pulls another whole concerto out of the bag in this video: 

 

10. Also, dogs are sometimes better than you

And they bow very gracefully, too. 

11. But we wouldn't want to play any other instrument

Because after all, we can make sounds like this: