The 12 funniest viola jokes

Pity the poor viola. Butt of all the jokes in the classical music world and maligned by string players everywhere. But we just can't help laughing at these viola jokes. Here are 12 of the best.

1. Out of tune

How can you tell if a violist is playing out of tune? You can see the bow moving.
2. Vacuum cleaner

What's the difference between a viola and a vacuum cleaner? A vacuum cleaner has to be plugged in before it sucks.
3. Musicians

What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians? A viola player.
4. Coffin

What's the difference between a viola and a coffin? Coffins have dead people on the inside.
5. Pizza

What's the difference between a pizza and a violist? A pizza can feed a family of four.
6. Violinists

What's the only thing a violinist can do better than a violist? Play the viola.
7. Hide and seek

Why don't violists play hide and seek? Because no-one would look for them.
8. Dog

What's the difference between a violist and a dog? A dog is able to stop scratching.
9. Stolen

How do you keep your violin from being stolen? Put it in a viola case.
10. Lightning

What's the similarity between lighting and a violist's fingers? They never strike the same place twice.
11. Viola joke - bar

What's the difference between the first and last desk of the viola section? About half a bar.
12. In Tune

How do you get two violists to play in tune with each other? Ask one to leave.