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Classic FM's More Music Breakfast with Tim Lihoreau 6am - 9am
We’ve translated what your music teacher is REALLY trying to tell you. Get ready for some tough love.
What they actually mean = “You’re horrendously out of tune”
What they actually mean = “You’re deafening me”
What they actually mean = “Go home and practise how to play nicely”
Pls.
What they actually mean = “PLEASE start using a metronome”
Count, and learn.
What they actually mean = “Play it like I do, i.e. better”
What they actually mean = “I know you haven't practised at all”
What they actually mean = “Have you considered a career outside of music?”
What they actually mean = “Just chill out, OK??”
What they actually mean = “If you spent as much time on your instrument as you did on that damn phone, you’d be a much better player”
Silly millennial.
What they actually mean = “Your posture is just terrible, I can barely look at you”
What they actually mean = “You’re not ready for Beethoven”
also...
What they actually mean = “You’re not ready for Bach”
What they actually mean = “There was no wolf note, you just haven’t learnt how to press on your strings properly”
What they actually mean = *plays the exact opposite of what you played*
What they actually mean = “Did you even touch that instrument once this week?
What they actually mean = “You’re so underprepared and I’m embarrassed the examiner knows I’m your teacher”
What they actually mean: “You’re playing SO many wrong notes, it’s hard to believe I’ve been teaching you for nine years”