All the reasons that a career in music is a huge life mistake

14 April 2016, 17:31 | Updated: 11 January 2017, 14:26

sad musician

If you’re considering a career in music, here’s why you shouldn’t be considering a career in music. Ever.

Your job prospects are bleak and narrow

You will not be given opportunities to play in far flung locations. Never ever.


Being a teacher will make you put money ahead of personal fulfilment

Look at how this teacher had no impact on the lives of her students.


The effort involved in practise never leads to satisfaction

No satisfaction whatsoever.


The music’s not even that good anyway

Except for when it’s world-stop-turningly amazing:


Composers are a stuffy bunch

No sense of humour, clearly.

composer insults


Once you become a professional, it’s work work work

Lang Lang has no time for your frivolous ideas.


Classical music is especially stuffy, and literally no fun

Alondra De La Parra does not enjoy her job.


Worst of all, nobody will remember you when you’re gone

Look at the poor unadorned grave of Bach: chart-topper, Baroque master, universal influencer. No-one likes him any more.

bach grave