Oh, just Russia's greatest composer messing about with an expensive new toy.
Lady Gaga + complex Baroque musical forms = the greatest YouTube videos ever. Subjects, answers and countersubjects have never sounded better.
Lady Gaga Fugue
Bach doesn't care how many Twitter followers you have - if you steal his fugues, the grandfather of counterpoint will come back to haunt you. Lady Gaga used an eight-second snippet of music from the Well-Tempered Clavier in her 2009 hit, Bad Romance; now she's being owned by this Bach-inspired stretto-fest.
And if you're feeling really geeky, don your meat dress and get checking for parallel fifths with this scrolling score:
We have a feeling that Ms. Gaga herself is a fan of this one:
@ClassicFM this is sensational— Lady Gaga (@ladygaga) July 3, 2014
Miley Cyrus Fugue
Harmonic mastermind Giovanni Dettori has somehow turned a song about a naked pop star writhing on demolition apparatus into a piece of mournful four-part counterpoint. Though you might still need a cold shower after that Tierce de Picardie.
Britney Spears Counterpoint
This isn't *strictly* a fugue, where you'd hear the tune (the subject), then hear it ratcheted up a fifth in another part (the answer) while the first part plays something new (the countersubject). But that doesn't mean you can't indulge in the squirmingly chromatic contrapuntal treatment of Britney's… profound… lyrics.
Teenage Dream Fugue
Katy Perry's 2010 hit gets the contrapuntal treatment in this delicate fugue for piano. I kissed a harmony & counterpoint professor, and I liked it.
Call Me Maybe Fugue
"Good morning. I have only recently made your acquaintance, and this is most unusual. Here, however, is my correspondence address. Write to me, perhaps?" Or, at least, we're pretty sure that's what Bach might have said had he happened upon Ms Carly Rae Jepsen in the 1700s, before writing a jaunty fugue-based improvisation on the matter.