Kudos to whoever did this. And we hope it’s performed at their wedding.
If you’re considering a career in music, here’s why you shouldn’t be considering a career in music. Ever.
Your job prospects are bleak and narrow
You will not be given opportunities to play in far flung locations. Never ever.
Being a teacher will make you put money ahead of personal fulfilment
Look at how this teacher had no impact on the lives of her students.
The effort involved in practise never leads to satisfaction
No satisfaction whatsoever.
The music’s not even that good anyway
Except for when it’s world-stop-turningly amazing:
Composers are a stuffy bunch
No sense of humour, clearly.
Once you become a professional, it’s work work work
Lang Lang has no time for your frivolous ideas.
Classical music is especially stuffy, and literally no fun
Alondra De La Parra does not enjoy her job.
Worst of all, nobody will remember you when you’re gone
Look at the poor unadorned grave of Bach: chart-topper, Baroque master, universal influencer. No-one likes him any more.