What your desk partner says vs what they ACTUALLY mean

29 September 2017, 17:55

bump into my up bow - desk partner orchestra

Sometimes, your desk partner has to be nice to you so you don’t sabotage their solo on concert day. This is what they really want to say to you…

What they say: “Sure, go ahead and borrow my pencil”

What they actually mean: “If you forget yours again I’m going to throw your rosin on the floor”




What they say: “Oh, that’s an interesting idea to play down bows on that section”

What they actually mean: “Bump into me on my up-bow again and I’ll end you”


I’m serious.


What they say: “Ah, I think we decided to miss out the rit. in last week’s rehearsal”

What they actually mean: “You would know we’re not playing a rit. if you’d actually turned up for once”



What they say: “Oh, I didn’t realise you could make it to the concert!”

What they actually mean: “You haven’t made it to one rehearsal this term, what’s your name again?”



What they say: “Sure, we can swap seats so your mum can see you from the crowd!”

What they actually mean: “Sit on a couple of coats and get over your issues”



What they say: “Is your part from a different edition? It’s just that it says piano in mine…”

What they actually mean: “You’re deafening me and I can’t hear myself think”



What they say: “I think it’s just the soloist playing in those bars”

What they actually mean: “This is my solo, shut up pls”



What they say: “I think that’s an E flat in bar 12”

What they actually mean: “We’re in E flat major, get a grip”


Get it together, pls.


What they say: “Do you mind giving me an A so I can tune my violin? It sounds like it’s a bit out”

What they actually mean: “Your intonation is so bad right now and my ears hurt”



It’s a shame you keep falling out really, because when you play together, you sound pretty resplendent:

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