Symphony No.8 in B minor D.759 Franz Schubert
25 August 2016, 13:23
Flautists (or whatever the right word is), we feel your pain, but no amount of Jethro Tull will help you. Here are the 10 worst things about playing your chosen instrument…
1. No-one knows what to call you
Flautist? Flutist? Fluter? Flutation device? Ah, forget it...
2. Everyone thinks you're basically a recorder
Not even Katy Perry knows the difference.
3. You just cannot compete with volume
Thanks, everyone, for completely drowning out everything we're playing.
5. People are under the impression it's one of the easiest instruments to play
Beginners are encouraged to 'graduate' from the recorder to the flute. How different can they be? Surely you just blow in the end and waggle your fingers?
6. You are synonymous with jazz flute
Sorry, 'yazz' flute. As soon as someone hears you're a flute dabbler, they'll ask you if you can do this:
7. Arm fatigue
Weirdly, holding a relatively light instrument to your mouth for long periods of time absolutely kills. Try to improvise a way to get around mundane tasks, so you can rest your poor afflicted arms.
8. The closest you get to rock 'n' roll is Jethro Tull
And, frankly, the less said about it the better. Put your leg down, Ian, for goodness' sake.
9. Spit leaks
When you finally lower your instrument, it's flob city for whoever's unfortunate enough to be sitting on your left.
10. Proximity to fellow flutes
A concert band section-worth of flutes all raising their instruments at the same time can result in serious injury. Maybe there's another solution?
(via Collection of Awesome)