The 10 worst things about playing the double bass

2 September 2016, 11:47

worst things about playing double bass

Being a double bassist is fraught with double meanings, mispronunciations and personal slights. Here are the worst things about being you.

1. ’Drop the bass’ means something very different to most people

To them, it signals the arrival of a particularly large drop. To you, it’s a nightmare never to be contemplated.


2. Your fingers will experience intense pain

Those strings. They are not smooth.


3. There are many other sorts of bass

It’s confusing. There’s this:

And… err… this:


4. When you say ‘I play the bass’, people picture this

‘No no, the *upright* bass. I know. Sorry.’


5. You will spend most of your life ricocheting between tonic and dominant

Because someone has to.


6. Meghan Trainor has given your beloved instrument a new theme tune

And it’s not the one you asked for.


7. ‘Nice cello!’


8. Your most famous composer is Bottesini

And he doesn’t make it easy for you.


9. And then there’s this age-old transport issue

First World Bassist Problems


10. Your car boot will never, ever be big enough

Forget your dreams of a tiny, nippy runabout. You have to have an estate car for the rest of your life.

Classic FM Apps

Get the Classic FM app for iPhone, iPad and Android - now with HD audio

Musical abbreviations quiz

You won’t get 20/20 on this quiz if you don’t know your musical abbreviations

musician would you rather

This musician edition of Would You Rather is completely excruciating

greatest best man speech

Everyone is saying this pianist gave the greatest best man speech of all time