These are the 29 stages of listening to Ravel’s Boléro
26 January 2017, 07:51
Maurice Ravel’s Boléro is one of the most famous pieces of classical music ever written. So you’d think Ravel would have been really proud – chuffed, even – that one of his works was recognised around the world, right? WRONG. He hated it. And tbh, we can sort of see why…
1 Has it started yet?
2 Wow that snare drum player is exposed.
3 I wonder how he’s feeling right now.
4 What if he loses count? Would they just start again? Such concentration.
5 Oh good someone else is playing now. That snare drum guy must be **relieved**
6 Ooh that clarinet line was a bit risqué for a concert hall.
7 Catchy tune this.
8 **hums along in head**
9 **taps toes**
10 **gets self-conscious about tapping toes** **stops**
11 Wow that snare drum guys is still going in the middle of all that.
12 I wonder if I could keep tapping that rhythm for this long
13 DUM DEEDEEDEE DUM DIDDLE DE DUM DEEDEED… oop, no that’s wrong
14 Try again. DUM DIDDLY DE DUM DIDDLY DE DUM DUM DUM DEEDLE DE DIDDLY DIDDLY DIDDLY DUM YES I CAN TOTALLY DO THIS.
15 **loses count**
16 Wow, I really have a new found respect for percussionists
17 SAXOPHONE KLAXON. More pieces with saxophones, composers of the world plz.
18 Is this getting louder or are there just more instruments playing?
19 Bit of both maybe?
20 Oh, nope. Definitely getting louder.
21 THIS IS SO MUCH FUN
22 This just carries on getting louder. The clarinettist looks like she might actually take off.
23 The conductor’s hair is properly wild now. We must be getting near the end.
24 OMG, we reached ff like 10 minutes ago. They must be at about fffff by now.
25 ARRRRRRRGH CRASH BANG SO MUCH LOUD SMASHY CHORD
26 Wow, that was AWESOME. I need a lie-down now.
27 Woooooop CLAP CLAP CLAP
28 Phew. There’s probably a really obvious metaphor here for something that builds up, gets faster and more energetic, and ends with an enormous climax but I just can’t think of it. Nope.
29 Let’s do it again!