12 things every musician who grew up with pushy parents will understand
19 March 2018, 16:29
You play a musical instrument – and here are the first signs that it’s starting to send your parents crazy.
1. They make you play the French horn, because it’s more unusual than the violin
Pushy parenting 101: rule out the competition.
2. They start correcting you when you practise
“That wasn’t an F sharp I heard there, was it?”
3. They start turning up to your lessons
How will your teacher know you’ve been neglecting your chromatic scales if your mum doesn’t turn up every week to tell them?
4. They make you look cute for your music exams
Well, the examiner can’t possibly fail you if you’re dressed in an adorable frilly dress and braids.
5. They start all their sentences with ‘we’
“‘WE’ are taking our Grade Six this week, aren’t we?”
“Sure, Dad, you didn’t do any of the groundwork, but sure.”
6. They won’t accept anything below a distinction
“What do you mean, you only got a high merit? Did you forget the diminuendo in Bar 51 again?”
7. They make you do impromptu performances for friends and family
“Sure she doesn’t mind playing the Paganini Caprices! She’s been warming up for the last two hours anyway.”
8. They mime along to your performances
What’s the point in your parents coming to your concerts if they can't join in at the back of the hall?!
9. They start trying to fast-track you
“I’ve calculated that if you practise three hours a day every day for the next seven months, you can do Grade 7 by Christmas! That OK?”
10. They start slating other kids
“Did you hear Molly’s solo in the Beethoven last night? So pitchy...”
11. They call the school to complain when another kid gets the solo
You’ve done your Grade 8 and Bobby hasn’t even passed his Grade 6 and he got the second solo?!
12. Other parents start avoiding them at concerts because they’re too competitive
“Susan’s teacher said she’s so talented for her age, she should play for county”
But admittedly, without their pushiness, you wouldn’t have got a second of practice done.