On Air Now
Classic FM Drive with John Brunning 5pm - 7pm
The 16 worst classical Christmas album covers
Ho-ho-no! It's time for a look at the very worst in festive album artwork from the classical music world, from Roberto Alagna's hair to Arthur Fiedler's moustache and a cameo from Jeremy Beadle. Brace yourselves...
-
1. Roberto Alagna - The Christmas Album
Looks like Michael Bolton's hair and his mum's gloves were on the Christmas list this year. Season's greetings, Roberto!
-
2. Christmas with Kiri Te Kanawa
Dame Kiri is so excited about Christmas this year that she's decided to wear nothing but Christmas decorations.
-
3. Hollywood Bowl Symphony Orchestra - Great Orchestral Music of Christmas
Creepiest. Christmas. Ever.
-
4. Anne Sofie von Otter - Home For Christmas
OK, so there's a massive ghost version of ASVO, a creepy beach scene and a child on some sort of weird camping chair being pushed by an unknown adult. If that's Christmas in the Otter household, we dread to think what happens at New Year.
-
5. A Brass Band Christmas
The Brass Band is one of the most noble musical ensembles in existence. The history, the community, the gravitas, the incredible music. As you can see, the medium is in safe hands here.
-
6. Arthur Fiedler & The Boston Pops - A Christmas Festival
You're not fooling anyone, Arthur. Give the suit back now.
-
7. Herbert von Karajan - Ein Weihnachtskonzert
Oh thanks. A French horn. You shouldn't have.
-
8. Canadian Brass - Christmas Time Is Here
We can't fault the repertoire on this album, but the horrifying cover art is all over the place. And you'd think they'd get cold, gaily larking about on that incredibly realistic ice rink.
-
9. Canadian Brass - The Christmas Album
Sorry guys. Another entry for Canadian Brass. No matter how hard you parp your brass at that tree, it's not going to make it a merry Christmas.
-
10. The Most Fabulous Christmas Classical Christmas Album Ever
We know, we know, it's not right to play the 'highbrow' card when it comes to classical music. But really. Poodles? A sun with a face on it? A sequined sack with a cello coming out of it? Many, many composers are turning in their graves.
-
-
11. Dionne Warwick & Placido Domingo - Christmas in Vienna II
As unlikely pairings go, this is one of the strongest we've seen. Worth it for the kid in front of Placido's expression alone.
-
12. James Galway's Christmas Carol
In which a scarfed Jeremy Beadle annoys the neighbours with his incessant flute-playing.
-
13. Christmas with the Choral Scholars of King's College, Cambridge
"What do you mean we forgot to do the album artwork? Oh never mind, just knock something together with MS Paint, no-one will know. Clip-art's really popular now anyway."
-
14. Christmas Carols from Winchester Cathedral
Because nothing says Christmas like identical twin choirboys and a candle the size of a grandfather clock.
-
15. Vienna Boys Choir - Christmas in Vienna
You know, this one wouldn't be so bad if they actually looked like they were enjoying themselves. Even the dog looks clinically fed-up.
-
-
16. Wurlitzer Christmas
Two disturbing things: the ghostly image of Santa's slippers (are they slippers, actually?) on the pedals, and the fact that someone has made a Wurlitzer Christmas album.
