20 things musicians have definitely never said

"I'm free all weekend!" and a collection of other sentences you'd absolutely never hear from a classical musician.

1. 

   1. Page-turner

   "Thank you, faithful page-turner. You have acknowledged my cues, and you have done me proud." - No pianist ever

2. 

   2. Hotel rooms

   “It’s OK, I love the hotel room and the concert hall. I don’t need to see the rest of the city.” - No musician ever

3. 

   3. 12-tone music

   “I often listen to 12-tone music at home for fun, not just when I have to play it myself.” - No musician ever

4. 

   4. Bolero

   "We're playing Bolero? I cannot wait for this!" - No orchestral drummer ever

5. 

   5. Free time

   "Actually, I'm free all weekend." - No musician ever

7. 

   6. Luggage

   "Yeah, just stick it in the hold with my other luggage." - No musician ever.

8. 

   7. Rehearsal

   "Rehearsal's over? I think it's time to head straight home for bed." - No musician ever

9. 

   8. Wagner

   "And now, the orchestra will play that helicopter song by Wagner." - No musician ever

10. 

    9. Wedding

    "You want me to play Pachelbel's Canon at your wedding? What a delightfully different choice!" - No musician ever

11. 

    10. Big violin

    "You're right, it is actually a big violin. Thanks for noticing." - No cellist ever

13. 

    11. You take the solo

    "You take the solo. You've earned it." - No soprano ever

14. 

    12. Coughing

    "Please, don't mind me. Cough. Cough all you like." - No musician ever

15. 

    13. Oboe

    "Alright! A perfect 'A' first time!" - No oboist ever

16. 

    14. Money

    "I'm happy to play at your event in return for publicity and exposure. Money is not a motivating factor to an artist such as myself." - No musician ever

17. 

    15. Rests

    Of course I counted every single one of those bars of rest and know precisely when I'll be coming in." - No musician ever

19. 

    16. Scales

    "Oh scales, why can't you just be a piece of your own?" - No musician ever

20. 

    17. Phantom

    "Yes, I suppose 'Phantom' is a real opera." - No musician ever

21. 

    18. Theory

    "Frankly, I only did the practical exams so that I could get better at music theory." - No musician ever

22. 

    19. Clothes pegs

    "Clothes pegs? In this gorgeous weather? Nah... We won't need them." - No musician ever

23. 

    20. The Ring Cycle

    "The Ring Cycle in one sitting without subtitles? Sign me up!" - No musician ever

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