This song proves it's impossible to sing and play double bass at the same time

7 March 2017, 16:05 | Updated: 7 March 2017, 17:01

Impossible to sing and play the bass

By Amy MacKenzie

Preposterous. Absurd. Ludicrous. Jay Leonhart proves that it really is impossible.

Don't even try it yourself. As we said, it's impossible.

Even the outstanding bass player Jay Leonhart can't sing and play double bass:

If you aren't quite keeping up, then now is probably the time to explain. It's Impossible To Sing And Play The Bass is a piece written intentionally to test the mind and fingers. There are complex rhythms happening between the vocal and bass lines which require extreme concentration and technical expertise.
If you still haven't quite cottoned on to the irony, here's the lyrics written by performer Jay Leonhart, who has been writing and singing his own very individualistic songs about his life as a bass player over the years:

Let me tell you some thing as we start the show 
It's a little some thing I thought you should know 
So I will tell you as we settle in to place 
It's impossible to sing and play the bass 
You're a lovely group of people you deserve the courtesy 
Of knowing what you can expect of me 
I have practiced but it will not mean a thing 'cause 
It's impossible to play the bass and sing 
You see the bass is fretless it's not like a guitar 
On bass you spend your whole life wondering where the 
hell you are 
It's got no little markers just a finger board so bare 
And lots of notes that often are not there 
Then when you start singing you've got lyrics on your mind 
And the notes on bass become impossible to find 
To remember lyrics melodies bass lines and chords 
Is no less a miracle than Lourdes 
So as I make a thousand errors sit there and be kind 
Do not throw tomatoes at me keep this all in mind 
Remember this is serious remember this is art 
Remember this or I will fall apart 
Then I'd have to pray to God to come and intercede 
And she'd only sit and laugh at my wanton greed 
She made the rules for molecules atoms time and space 
And she knows it's impossible to sing and play the bass

Jay's got some new music out too - take a look: