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    How to be a conductor, according to terrible stock photos

    If you want to be an awful conductor, then do what these guys do.

    1. Conductor stock images

      1. Eye conductor

      Always conduct from the eye. That way you can see what you're conducting better. Photo: iStock

    2. Conductor stock images

      2. The smell

      Want to appear like you're really into your performance of Mahler 2? Pretend you've just smelled some delicious bread. Photo: iStock

    3. Conductor stock images

      3. Hair

      If you're doing it right, your hair will do this. Photo: iStock

    4. Conductor stock images

      4. Dad's suit

      If your dad is a conductor, just borrow his suit. Photo: iStock

    5. Conductor stock images

      5. Stick

      Lost your baton? Grab some other stick. Photo: iStock

    6. Conductor stock images

      6. Gloves

      Always perform in gloves. Like Mickey Mouse. Photo: iStock

    7. Conductor stock images

      7. City

      You don't need an orchestra, you just need access to a massive cityscape. Photo: iStock

    8. Conductor stock images

      8. Looking up

      Keep your scores on the ceiling. Photo: iStock

    9. Conductor stock images

      9. Creepy

      Want to inspire your orchestra? Freak them out by glaring threateningly. Photo: iStock

    10. Conductor stock images

      10. Looking up

      Yes, keep looking up at the ceiling. And remember the gloves. Photo: iStock

    11. Conductor stock images

      11. Stick

      No money for a baton? Walk to the back of the hall and grab a drumstick. The percussion section won't mind. Photo: iStock

    12. Conductor stock images

      12. Rock

      If all else fails, head to the top of a massive rock. Picture: iStock

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