On Air Now
The Full Works Concert with Jane Jones 8pm - 10pm
How to be a conductor, according to terrible stock photos
If you want to be an awful conductor, then do what these guys do.
-
1. Eye conductor
Always conduct from the eye. That way you can see what you're conducting better. Photo: iStock
-
2. The smell
Want to appear like you're really into your performance of Mahler 2? Pretend you've just smelled some delicious bread. Photo: iStock
-
3. Hair
If you're doing it right, your hair will do this. Photo: iStock
-
4. Dad's suit
If your dad is a conductor, just borrow his suit. Photo: iStock
-
5. Stick
Lost your baton? Grab some other stick. Photo: iStock
-
6. Gloves
Always perform in gloves. Like Mickey Mouse. Photo: iStock
-
7. City
You don't need an orchestra, you just need access to a massive cityscape. Photo: iStock
-
8. Looking up
Keep your scores on the ceiling. Photo: iStock
-
9. Creepy
Want to inspire your orchestra? Freak them out by glaring threateningly. Photo: iStock
-
10. Looking up
Yes, keep looking up at the ceiling. And remember the gloves. Photo: iStock
-
-
11. Stick
No money for a baton? Walk to the back of the hall and grab a drumstick. The percussion section won't mind. Photo: iStock
-
12. Rock
If all else fails, head to the top of a massive rock. Picture: iStock
