On Air Now
The Classic FM Concert with John Suchet 8pm - 10pm
15 August 2019, 16:26
When you’re a classical musician, it’s sometimes easy to forget that the rest of the world finds bodily functions gross. Not that it stops us.
Petition for all brass players to carry a ‘wet floor’ sign everywhere they go...
No matter what we do, nothing seems to keep foundation on our faces and not our violins.
Any foundation-wearing flute players will have found out the hard way that silver and skincare do not mix. Beware the dark mark beneath your lip.
We know it's a necessary evil, but that doesn't make it any less gross.
Thankfully no bodily functions here, but it still makes us a little squeamish. Definitely lawful evil.
There is literally no excuse for this. Ever. Just don't do it.
Seriously? For the love of oboes, just find a drain to pour it down.
Don't think you can get away with being gross just because you aren't playing an instrument.
Tuning is important, but how much longer until someone invents a self-regulating flute? For now, let's just hope you've brushed your teeth beforehand.
An occupational hazard that can make public outings awkward. Keep a scarf handy, just in case.
They're not hardcore, just gnarly.
Not. A. Competition.
Okay so, maybe finger calluses are a good thing if they make this less likely. This is about as rock 'n' roll as it gets.
Turns out you don't need an instrument to be gross. Really, no one needs to hear this.
Floor to ceiling tiles make for great acoustics, we must admit. But if you stop to think about hygiene... actually, let's not.