Stock images make musicians look STUPID.
Quite simply, these are the loudest moments in classical music - turn them up and enjoy/massage your battered eardrums.
Carl Orff - O Fortuna
Don’t be fooled, naïve little lamb. We know it's very quiet after the intro. We see you there, turning the volume up , as if to say ‘this is nothing. My ears are immune. ’ We see your expression turn from defiance to pure, twisted agony when that fff choral entry finally arrives. We were right. Weren’t we?
Giuseppe Verdi - Dies Irae
SMASH bomp SMASH bomp SMASH bomp SMASH bomp. You know the one.
Holst - Mars, from the Planets Suite
There’s Gustav Holst, trying to make himself look clever by using a weird time signature. Seriously, who does he think he is? Doesn’t he understand how important it is to make things accessib-PAAAAAAAAAAA, PAAAA-PAAAAAAAAAAA!!! *brass entry makes audience’s heads explode*
Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky - Piano Concerto No. 1
The tune is romantic, sure, but just listen to that opening piano line and tell us it’s not being hammered with superhuman strength.
Igor Stravinsky - Firebird Suite (finale)
That Stravinsky, he’s a smiley guy. But you know what doesn’t make people smile? The crippling intensity of this orchestral assault to the face. No, that makes people scared.
John Williams - Star Wars
Come on, you know the words! “Staaar Wars, da-da-da Staaaar Wars, da-da-da Staaaar Wars, da-da-da-daaaa!” This is definitely the most triumphant and positive entry on our list, so enjoy it while it lasts (if you can still hear anything).
Wagner - Ride of the Valkyries
Ride of the Valkyries, eh? A lovely little ditty about some peaceful maidens who hang out by a river? *BUZZER NOISE* Nope! It’s the arrival of doom harbingers at the end of the world. Sorry!
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