17 things your music teacher says vs. what they REALLY mean

music teacher says

We’ve translated what your music teacher is REALLY trying to tell you. Get ready for some tough love.

1. What they say = “Watch your intonation there”

What they actually mean = “You’re horrendously out of tune”

via GIPHY

 

2. What they say = “Just check the dynamic marking in that passage”

What they actually mean = “You’re deafening me”

via GIPHY

 

3. What they say = “Maybe we can try a slightly different tone here?”

What they actually mean = “Go home and practise how to play nicely”

via GIPHY

Pls.

 

4. What they say = “Oh, that’s a nice idea to do an accelerando there”

What they actually mean = “PLEASE start using a metronome”

via GIPHY

Count, and learn.

 

5. What they say = “Listen to me play this passage, and have a listen to which dynamics you prefer”

What they actually mean = “Play it like I do, i.e. better”

via GIPHY

 

6. What they say = “Has it been a busy week for you?”

What they actually mean = “I know you haven't practised at all”

via GIPHY

 

7. What they say = “How are other things in life going for you?”

What they actually mean = “Have you considered a career outside of music?”

via GIPHY

 

8. What they say = “Just concentrate on your breathing”

What they actually mean = “Just chill out, OK??”

via GIPHY

 

9. What they say = “Ooh, that’s a fancy phone”

What they actually mean = “If you spent as much time on your instrument as you did on that damn phone, you’d be a much better player”

via GIPHY

Silly millennial.

 

10. What they say = “Support!”

What they actually mean = “Your posture is just terrible, I can barely look at you”

via GIPHY

 

11. What they say = “Let’s move on to another great Mozart Sonata”

What they actually mean = “You’re not ready for Beethoven”

via GIPHY

also...

 

12. What they say = “Let’s move on to another great Telemann Suite”

What they actually mean = “You’re not ready for Bach”

via GIPHY

 

13. What they say = “I think you hit a wolf note there”

What they actually mean = “There was no wolf note, you just haven’t learnt how to press on your strings properly”

via GIPHY

 

14. What they say =“That could work! What if you did it like this?”

What they actually mean = *plays the exact opposite of what you played*

via GIPHY

 

15. What they say = “It sounds like you've had a hard week”

What they actually mean = “Did you even touch that instrument once this week?

via GIPHY

 

16. What they say = “Shall we try and squeeze in one more lesson before your exam?”

What they actually mean = “You’re so underprepared and I’m embarrassed the examiner knows I’m your teacher”

via GIPHY

 

17. What they say: “Your playing is very expressive today”

What they actually mean: “You’re playing SO many wrong notes, it’s hard to believe I’ve been teaching you for nine years”

via GIPHY