Albion Polka Opus 102 Johann Strauss (II) Download 'Albion Polka Opus 102' on iTunes
Ho-ho-no! It's time for a look at the very worst in festive album artwork from the classical music world, from Roberto Alagna's hair to Arthur Fiedler's moustache and a cameo from Jeremy Beadle. Brace yourselves...
Looks like Michael Bolton's hair and his mum's gloves were on the Christmas list this year. Season's greetings, Roberto!
Dame Kiri is so excited about Christmas this year that she's decided to wear nothing but Christmas decorations.
Creepiest. Christmas. Ever.
OK, so there's a massive ghost version of ASVO, a creepy beach scene and a child on some sort of weird camping chair being pushed by an unknown adult. If that's Christmas in the Otter household, we dread to think what happens at New Year.
The Brass Band is one of the most noble musical ensembles in existence. The history, the community, the gravitas, the incredible music. As you can see, the medium is in safe hands here.
You're not fooling anyone, Arthur. Give the suit back now.
Oh thanks. A French horn. You shouldn't have.
We can't fault the repertoire on this album, but the horrifying cover art is all over the place. And you'd think they'd get cold, gaily larking about on that incredibly realistic ice rink.
Sorry guys. Another entry for Canadian Brass. No matter how hard you parp your brass at that tree, it's not going to make it a merry Christmas.
We know, we know, it's not right to play the 'highbrow' card when it comes to classical music. But really. Poodles? A sun with a face on it? A sequined sack with a cello coming out of it? Many, many composers are turning in their graves.
As unlikely pairings go, this is one of the strongest we've seen. Worth it for the kid in front of Placido's expression alone.
In which a scarfed Jeremy Beadle annoys the neighbours with his incessant flute-playing.
"What do you mean we forgot to do the album artwork? Oh never mind, just knock something together with MS Paint, no-one will know. Clip-art's really popular now anyway."
Because nothing says Christmas like identical twin choirboys and a candle the size of a grandfather clock.
You know, this one wouldn't be so bad if they actually looked like they were enjoying themselves. Even the dog looks clinically fed-up.
Two disturbing things: the ghostly image of Santa's slippers (are they slippers, actually?) on the pedals, and the fact that someone has made a Wurlitzer Christmas album.