9 infuriating things your music teacher always does

14 June 2015, 18:51

When you're learning an instrument, your teacher is there to inspire, advise and encourage. And to spend a lot of time making cups of tea so your lesson time gets eaten up.

1. Make you play pieces more than once so they can finish the magazine article they’re reading

“That’s fine… this time can you play it with the repeats?”

 

2. Spend as long as possible making you a cup of tea so it eats up lesson time

“Hope you like it strong. I always leave the bag in for at least 10 minutes.” 


3. Invent criticisms that aren’t valid because they weren’t listening properly

“Yeah, those quavers… not great.”
“There weren’t any quavers in that passage.”
“Maybe that’s the problem.” 


4. Make you play certain sections over and over again for more time than is necessary

“Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. And Again.” 



5. Do some sort of extended sigh as they thumb through the diary for your next lesson

“Okaaaaaay… hmmm… *12-minute silence* pffff… Thursday?”



6. Take phone calls mid-lesson

“Actually, I am interested in changing my electricity provider… No, I’m not busy…” 



7. Make you feel extreme guilt about not practising

“I just think you’re letting yourself down.” 



8. Turn the last lesson before an exam into a shaming exercise

“Really, by this stage, I shouldn’t have to tell you this stuff.”




9. Occasionally, very occasionally, they’ll emit the tiniest amount of visible pride, and life will be worth living

“Well, I suppose that wasn’t completely awful.”

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