16 confessions of a brass player that will make you say ‘same’

27 April 2018, 14:11

Brass player confessions
Brass player confessions. Picture: Twitter

Spent the last ten minutes counting 92 bars of rests, then come in fortissimo a bar early and want to die of humiliation? Same.

1. When finding roommates who will tolerate the volume of your playing is a serious problem

2. When any brass player > every other normal, attractive person

3. When owning an instrument like yours turns you into an actual scientist

4. When sometimes, your performance directions are only ever angry and confusing

5. When your pet is completely petrified of your instrument

6. When your instrument is so impractically big, it becomes a piece of furniture

7. When there’s literally no sensible way of cleaning the darn thing

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8. When polishing this bad boy is the sexiest thing you’ll ever do

9. When band > everything important in your life

10. When being better than the woodwind section is your main life goal

11. When your sheet music gets a bit too real with you

12. Also, when it clearly has a vendetta against you

13. When playing at a normal, human volume is seemingly impossible

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14. When your bathroom cabinet starts to look like this

15. When you have to spend half your rehearsal time silently counting, while the violins get all the fun stuff

16. But you know, deep down, your instrument is just the greatest