Prepare your ears for absolute filth.
Thinking of a career in music? Maybe read this first.
OK, so if you’re counting non-musicians as human beings (which sometimes we do), then this one stands. Your hours will be literally the opposite of all non-musicians, thanks to concerts, rehearsals and constant practising, so you may as well forget it.
Ah, the one to share it all with. The one to console you after those failed auditions, those low-paying concerts, that inevitable period of unemployment, that inability to pay the rent… oh hang on…
The glamour of international travel
Is it still glamorous when you’re sleeping across three carefully arranged cello cases on the floor of Heathrow airport? It’s not, is it?
Mixing with the stars
You might get shouted at by the stars, if you’re very lucky. If not, you’ll probably get shouted at by their managers.
Exposure and experience are the only currency that matters. Obviously. Musicians care not for such simple pleasures as being paid for working.
Rumour has it there are musicians successful enough to not only support themselves, but also rear a family of their own. These instances are rare, and we recommend only going ahead with the whole family thing if your income suddenly receives a boost from the Sultan of Brunei or Andrew Lloyd Webber or similar.
Pity your own neighbours, who have to hear you practising late into the night because you had to dep for that friend of yours and you couldn’t turn down the extra income but you also have that accompanying gig at college in the morning and you haven’t even looked at the music yet.
There are seven weekdays, OK? Don’t forget it.
Long-term job satisfaction
Musicians know that in the end, all you need to live a productive and happy life is to be comfortable in your chosen profession, one that inspires and invigorates you every day. Actually, we’re not being sarcastic any more. That’s pretty much all you need. Right? Right guys?!